Today is my mum’s birthday and I’m reminded of how she used to quash my inner Perfectionist; persuade me to let it go.

My mum loved playing bridge and was a very good player. Sometimes she would invite me to be her partner for the evening. Playing bridge was her relaxation, her fun, her time out. And I didn’t want to spoil that. Unfortunately, I was nowhere near as skilled as my mum and I made a lot of mistakes. When this happened, my Perfectionist was quick on the scene. I’d apologise. My mum would give me feedback about how I could have played the hand differently. Always warm and constructive.

I was devastated. In my head, I’d let her down and ruined her evening out. My face said it all. Sad, despondent, miserable. Suddenly, there was a kick under the table. I looked into my mum’s smiling face. She leaned towards me and said:

“I’m not going to sit and look at that face all night.”

“But I messed up. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. We’ve talked about how you could have played the hand differently. Now that hand is finished. Let it go, look forward and focus on the next hand.”

“I’ll try my best.”

“Good. Enjoy yourself… And SMILE!”

Whenever my Perfectionist rears her ugly head, especially in the form of a character I call the ‘Speaker Saboteur’, I tap into my mum’s thinking and invite my Perfectionist to go and chill out with a Gin & Tonic. I try to concentrate on being present, not perfect… to let it go and focus on the next hand.