TED says that standout talks happen when good preparation meets confident delivery and connection to bring us ideas worth spreading.

Giving a TEDx Talk has long been an ambition of mine and I was ready to put in the work and deliver my idea worth spreading.

What I hadn’t realised was how challenging the experience would be and the learnings I would derive.

Here are my five things TED shows us.

TED says 1 – Find your TED idea worth spreading

TED talks are no different from any talk or presentation in that they all need a clear message, an idea worth spreading, that the audience will value; a message that will effect change in what they think, feel and do in relation to the subject.

Without this clarity, it’s hard to assemble the right content so that it delivers a clear and memorable message.

If you can’t sum up your message in a few words, it almost certainly needs more thought. And if YOU can’t sum up your message in a few words, your audience has no chance.

The message of my TEDx Talk was that loneliness ruins lives and we all have a responsibility to try and smash the loneliness pandemic. I embedded this message – the problem and the solution – in a memorable anchor phrase, ‘Loneliness shatters. Community matters.’

Please enjoy and comment on my TEDx Talk, ‘Reach out and smash the loneliness pandemic’.

TED says 2 – Better together

Nothing thrills me more than teamwork, so why treat a TEDx Talk any differently?

I made myself a list of people whose advice I cherish, both as friends and speakers. Then I approached each one to see if they’d like to help. Some of us met on Zoom, some of us met in person for dinner or coffee, some showed up on the day to watch the speech live.

We brainstormed ideas, evolved a speech and shared feedback to craft and hone my talk.

And the most wonderful thing for me was when everyone who helped expressed an interest in staying involved beyond an initial meeting. Their continuous help and support was inspirational.

So, never be afraid to ask for help. Fresh perspectives and ideas are always useful, along with a healthy dose of sense checking, feedback and encouragement. TED shows us that we are definitely better together.

TED says 3 – Make your practice real

It’s too easy to practise a talk in front of a mirror or record and playback, whatever your preference. But the important thing is to create a sense of reality that will ramp up the nerves of being in front of an audience and give you a better idea of how everything is working for you.

In front of a mirror, I was great! Word perfect. As soon as I went in front of people, whether in a Zoom meeting, trying it out in a café or delivering at a TEDxLewisham dress rehearsal, I fell apart. At one such event, my knees were shaking so much, I thought I was going to fall over. Every time, I would suddenly lose my way and forget what I wanted to say.

Time to remember that preparation is about internalising, not memorising, a speech. Reminding myself of my speech route map, I was liberated from my script and free to read the room, interact with my audience and sound relaxed, natural and conversational.

TED says 4 – Unpick the nerves

From an anxiety point of view, giving a TEDx Talk was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. As an experienced speaker, I was a bit shocked by my reactions and wanted to understand better what was happening to me.

The two main negative voices in my head that are always likely to give me a hard time are the “perfectionist” and the “hyper-achiever”. And I was feeding them both.

In my capacity of public speaking coach, I think I gave too much weight to the TEDx opportunity and the importance in my head of doing a good job. My hyper-achiever was out with a vengeance, with an internal monologue that repeatedly told me, ‘If you mess up, what does it say about you as a coach?’

TED was my dream and everything was unravelling, but I wasn’t giving in that easily! I had to find a way to enjoy my moment on the TEDx “red dot”.

TED says 5 – Enjoy the moment

On the day, I was surrounded by fellow speakers and lovely friends. The mutual support and encouragement were phenomenal.

As I took to the stage, wrapped in their warm and positive vibes, I reminded myself that I had a speech I was proud of , with a relevant and relatable message.

I looked around the audience, raised my hand and began…

‘Hands up if you’ve ever felt lonely’. Up went a strong show of hands and we were off… speaker and audience together. We enjoyed sharing relatable experiences and I thoroughly enjoyed sharing my stories.

TED shows us that to bring a speech or presentation to life in an engaging and memorable way needs a clear idea worth spreading, preparation, confidence and, above all else, connection with your audience.