I have just had the real pleasure of delivering the speech at our university reunion dinner. Thanks to everyone there, we had such fun.

Click here to hear the speech or read on … 

1980 was a vintage year, wasn’t it?

It gave us …

The very first episode of Yes Minister.

The 2,000^th episode of Coronation Street.

We even came third in Eurovision!  Imagine!

And, bizarrely not making the news headlines was Friday 3 October 1980, our first day together at Ross Hall.

The ’80s were a different world, weren’t they?  A world before smartphones and tablets.  A world before bank accounts in credit.  A world before responsibility.

I grant you, on that first day, Prof Beavis did his best to inject a note of responsibility.  “Look to your left.  Look to your right.  And in three years’ time, one of you won’t be here!”

And maybe it worked … For a while.  But it didn’t last!

We were risk takers, some might say chancers!

Why would you play it safe going to lectures when there was a big wide world out there to discover?  Some have the enviable record of only attending one lecture in a whole term … Kath Morton.  Makes my attendance at seven accountancy and finance lectures in a year look positively studious.  But the prize surely goes to Bill Pringle, aka Pringy-Poohs!  Following an impressive run of absenteeism, he came face to face with David Gee who uttered the immortal words … “And can I ask, who are you?”

As risk takers, we did our best to poison ourselves – fried egg sandwiches, mutton pies, pints of heavy – I still can’t pronounce that word! – snakebite, sherry, Litre Vin, magic mushrooms … from the field next to Ross Hall.  Killer kebabs, curries, fish suppers and all those after-hours’ burger binges at the Ad Lib.  Then, of course, there was the inevitable stop at Gregg’s, between Crookston and main campus for sausage rolls and apple turnovers.  They’ve gone up in price a bit.  Did anyone buy shares?

There’s that unforgettable experiment to turn a mini into a people carrier.  How many people can you get into a mini and still drive it?  How many? [shout out].  Hands up if you were there … 11 of you.  We know who you are!

We were resourceful

Graeme’s early addiction to space invaders apparently paid for most Ross Hall party booze.

We ate inspirational signature dishes such as mango chutney toasties to save money for the really important essentials … like beer

Lawton used his hot-off-the-production-line Mini Metro to make his fortune by charging people the princely sum of 10p petrol money to ferry them to lectures.

We could spot future trends

Like cross-dressing.  I don’t think they were alone, but Graeme with Chris Wilson dolled up as a girl, won them best-dressed couple at a Vicars and Tarts.  Thanks go to Claire Dobie for wardrobe, hair and make-up.

We even learnt a thing or two, although perhaps not always what was intended!

• Wine tasting, of course.
• Without Derrick Kennedy and John McKee, Elise reckons her clam chowder would always be out of a tin, or a can as they liked to call it.
• John Heeley, determined to teach us to have our own thoughts and opinions, gave us interesting essays to write, such as Why can public executions in England and France be considered a leisure activity? And the crucial learning, to keep a steady hand and never spill a drop of beer.  John very sadly died last year.
• Kit Jenkins taught us listening skills as he delivered most of his lectures in little more than a whisper
• Alistair Goldsmith taught us not to put up with any nonsense from guests, however much they’re paying! This led to Elise ‘accidentally’ tipping a heavy serving dish full of hot potatoes into the lap of a man who had his hand … up her skirt!
• All that silver service didn’t always go according to plan. Shereen at an Epicureans’ dinner, serving extra-hard sorbet out of a pineapple managed to send it travelling down a guest’s immaculate black dinner suit. Fortunately, he had a good sense of humour
• Ian got short shrift from the Prof for picking up a bread roll in his bare hand and plonking it on the Prof’s side plate … untouched by spoon or fork!
• Flambéed spaghetti. Steak Diane.  Peeling bananas with a knife and fork and then setting fire to them.  All that brandy going up in flames. What a waste!

Vienna was our song.  If you haven’t seen the Elise and David M rendition, where were you?!  So stunning, it cleared dance floors.  Perhaps they can give us a re-run later?

I don’t dance, but even I was known to dance to Vienna –– after 10 pints, speaking fluent dolphin and barely able to stand.  I was shocked to learn that Pringy-Poohs doesn’t think we’d have got very far in Strictly!

Vienna even summed up lectures for some.  This means nothing to me eeeeconomics.  You’ll be pleased to hear, I also need 10 pints to sing!

We’ve come a long way since those graduation-year ambitions to live life to the full, buy a hotel, burst out of a 36C bra or be home when ET phones.

We’ve met friends here.  Sadly, we’ve also seen some pass away.  Some of you even met your partners here.

While many, if not all of us, are no longer working in hotels, if we ever were, most of us seem to have been in some area of leisure or tourism.  And the really lucky have retired.

So what does the future hold?  We know what NOT to do:

• Don’t get drunk on sherry – too painful; or whiskey – memory failure
• Don’t waste your student days, they are the best years of your life. Make every day great.
• Don’t be afraid. We are strong.  We’ve survived heart attacks, cancer, knee replacements, floating across the Atlantic in a life-threatening storm, driving through a war zone in an effort to win the Commonwealth Games for Glasgow.  We can survive anything, even excruciatingly embarrassing performances at international evenings.

And we know what we have to do to move forward:

• As Kath says, Do some bloody work! But remember work-life balance
• Do the things you love – golf, breed puppies, retire as soon as possible and become the oldest chalet girl in town
• Dive right in or as Lawton says when evacuating an aircraft “Stay on your feet and keep moving”
• Take care of your hair
• Dance down Hope Street or any street singing Oh what a perfect day, Oh flower of Scotland or anything else that feels good!

If I’ve learnt anything over the years, it’s that it’s better to give than to receive, so as I’ve laid off the wine most of the evening to give this speech, please feel free to buy me a drink later!

Remember your family and friends.  They are precious.

We don’t know what’s to come compared to what has been, but, in the words of Abraham Lincoln “it’s not the years in your life that count; it’s the life in your years”.  We’ve got away with it so far.  Here’s to the next 38 years!

Raise your glasses, please …. To Strathclyde, the Sottish Hotel School and, of course, Graeme for organising this fabulous evening.